The first step in making amends is to figure out who was affected by your behavior. Who was hurt, inconvenienced, upset, insulted?

Then, consider what you can do to work it out with them and make their life better.

This may include listening to their account of how they felt during the situation.

It may include your telling them steps you will take to avoid it happening again.

Tasks to make amends for damage done to an individual:





  1. Talk with them about how the experience felt for them
  2. Write the story of the event from their point of view
  3. Make a poster or card for the (drawing, collage) to explain what happened and how you were feeling before the event
  4. Write the a letter
  5. Do a chore for them or with them
  6. Replace something that was broken
  7. Make them something- a decoration, food
  8. Do an activity with them or play a game with them
  9. Teach them something (like how to play a video game)

Tasks to make amends for damage done to individuals or unit community



  1. Decorations
  2. Posters illustrating feelings and positive behaviors
  3. Posters or books illustrating steps to a task, i.e. getting ready for school or unit chores
  4. Make food for unit
  5. Cleaning
  6. Weeding
  7. Setting out a treat for each child
  8. Doing a presentation on something in a community meeting, such as the dangers of smoking or why we should not pull fire alarms
  9. Lead an activity
  10. Teach something to younger children, or read to them
  11. Clean the van
  12. Repair something you broke. If you cannot repair it, do something nice for the people who do have to repair it (like bake cookies for the maintenance staff)

Once the idea of making mends becomes embedded in the culture, the kids themselves become quite good at coming up with ideas. Brainstorm ideas as a community when not in crisis. Have a jar of options people can pick from. Let us all know through the comments what ideas have worked for your team.

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